I stuttered for decades. For nearly all that time, I played defense. What does that mean? I was terribly defensive with my speech, trying to avoid stuttering at all costs, even to the point that I compromised my career. All of that avoidance got me nowhere, except frustration and periods of depression. Finally, I learned to change that. I learned to play offense, not defense with my stuttering. That’s when life started to change for me.
Why You Shouldn't Play Defense
Don’t play defense with your speech. You’ll never get anywhere. You’ll avoid stuttering, but you’ll also avoid enjoying your life.
Avoidance is a ticket to nowhere. Just as bad, without even realizing it, you’ll create barriers that will be difficult to break in the future. Every time you avoid, you create a roadblock in your brain that effectively says, “No, I can’t do that!” And you won’t, until you give up playing defense.
I played defense with the best of them. I avoided sentences and even entire situations that could trigger stuttering. I played it safe, but I also didn’t get what I wanted out of life. In playing it safe, I compromised my career dreams for decades, all to avoid stuttering.
You could see the defense in my face as I talked. My speech was rigid, careful, filled with fillers, all to avoid stuttering. As I talked, smiling was difficult, laughing was impossible. I was always on red alert, trying to anticipate when stuttering might rear its ugly head.
Playing defense is a sure ticket to higher anxiety, constant tension and a life of missed opportunities. In always trying to be two steps ahead to avoid stuttering, you’re never fully enjoying the moment. You may not stutter, but at what cost to the enjoyment of your life?
Making the Shift
After so many years of playing defense with my speech, I found it very difficult to make the change to playing offense. Avoiding situations and turning down opportunities had become my automatic go-to responses.
Playing offense, not defense, required an entirely different orientation. Rather than avoid situations and turn down opportunities, I opened myself up to new possibilities. I sought out new situations and opportunities, viewing the world as my laboratory to try new things with my speech and my mindset.
For example, when I shifted to offense, rather than giving the shortest explanations possible to avoid stuttering, I lengthened them and threw in all the intonation and gestures I could muster. Instead of worrying about stuttering and avoiding speaking encounters, I did my best to enjoy every conversation I had and relish the opportunity of relating with others.
Everything the opposite. Out with defense, in with offense. After decades of saying no to life, I began to say yes.
How to Play Offense
Playing offense means that you’re actively doing things to improve your speech. No longer are you a sitting duck, just waiting to stutter. Instead, have fun with Breathe, Emphasize, Phrase (BEP), pulling the various levers as you talk, such as intonation and emphasis, shortening or lengthening your phrases, pausing between phrases, smiling, laughing and so forth. The more you play with your speech, the more you break down your tendency to play defense.
When you play offense, you open yourself up to a world of possibilities. Everything becomes possible. See an opportunity — you take it. Faced with a speaking situation — you embrace it. When you play offense, the world is yours, nothing is beyond your grasp.
Comentarii